"Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of you children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children."

Everyone's miscarriage story is different—here's mine



[Trigger warning: This essay discusses one woman's journey with miscarriage.]

I'll never forget Mother's Day weekend in 2017 when I found out I was pregnant for a second time. For four additional weeks, I silently celebrated the good news (along with my husband, close family and a few friends). I felt amazing. My son, who had just turned 2 years old, was going to be a big brother.

Although it was early on in the pregnancy, I found and bought the perfect big brother shirt for him. I was excited for all of the pregnancy reveals, ultrasounds, shopping and nursery planning that would join me for the next nine months. For those few weeks, I was on cloud nine.

But, then everything changed.

It was like any other Monday— I was working and taking a quick break for lunch. Something about that day was different, however, I just didn't feel pregnant. Was I overreacting? Maybe. Even though I was not having the common miscarriage symptoms like the bleeding or the cramping, I still had a gut feeling that something was wrong. And I was right.

That was the day I found out I was miscarrying my baby at nine weeks. I'll never forget the ultrasound. There was no little flicker of a heartbeat and...


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