"Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of you children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children."

I never thought I would co-sleep with my kids—until it became exactly what my daughter needed



When my first daughter was born, I didn't have a concrete plan for sleeping arrangements. As the first weeks turned into the first month, however, it became very clear that co-sleeping was not working out.

Instead of getting more sleep, I was exhausted by all-night nursing sessions. I couldn't find a comfortable position when the baby was in the bed, and when she slept in a bassinet next to our bed I couldn't block out the constant snorting and gurgling of a newborn.

I missed reading in bed at night, which felt impossible with a light-sleeping infant by my side. She woke when my husband sneezed, or when I fluffed my pillow. I longed to go to bed like a normal person, instead of sneaking in like a thief with the lights off, trying not to make a sound.

So out she went, banished to her own bedroom, but this didn't necessarily result in more sleep.

The first year was the hardest, when I'd drag myself out of bed and down the hall multiple times during the night for feedings. When I returned to my own bed, though, I was always grateful for the respite. I needed those brief hours away from my kid, with a wall and door separating us. It was important for my sanity, for my marriage,...


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